Pic courtesy: www.roundwego.com
Beware!!! 21 lunatics to watch
out for on Indian roads
1.
The honking honchos
Honking is
one of the major problems that one will encounter on Indian roads. The honking
honchos come in four categories- the crazies who keep honking all the time, the
ones who honk periodically with regular time intervals (every 10 -15 seconds), the
ones with the creative musical horns (the funniest I have heard is a barking
German Shepherd) and finally the bus Walla’s who honk with 2 or 3 Air horns in
an effort to bore an hole in your eardrums.
(The normal
legal limit for vehicle horns should not cross 70 decibels. Musical horns and
Air horns are banned inside city limits, but who cares. All is fair in love and
on Indian roads!)
2. The whimsical two-wheelers
Many 2
wheelers keep cutting in front of your vehicle and wiggle through the traffic giving
you the wonderful opportunity to test the efficiency of your brakes. They also
test your alertness, driving skills and power of concentration.
(Sadly, such
two wheelers very often meet with grievous accidents )
3. The mini monsters
Very often
you would have come across a Tata ace or some other 3 wheeler contraption
carrying heavy objects like steel rods, pipes and articles of odd sizes
protruding from the vehicle. Such vehicles have caused many accidents to the
people behind. As a precaution give a lot of gap and stay away from this
vehicles, and if possible overtake them as quickly as possible.
4. The tailgating terrors
To be found
especially in crowded areas and the tailgating terrors are mostly 2 wheelers
and Buses. They are so much in love with you that they follow you too closely
for your comfort. I found these phenomena at its worst in the 4 lane highways
in some parts of Kerala. (Especially, on the Thrissur to Kochi Highway, where
huge SUV’s and fancy high priced cars come breathing down your neck at speeds
above 110km/hr within 5 feet of your car from all sides).
(Since such
terrors can’t be avoided, all we can do is to be cautious and keep an eye on
the rear view mirror. Also avoid braking harshly, as this could lead you to getting
hit from the back.)
5. The lefty over takers
The rule in
our country dictates that we keep left (since we follow the British system) and
that we should not overtake from the left. However, many are not aware of this
and they keep overtaking from all directions, wishing we had an extra pair of
eyes.
As far as
possible try not to overtake from the left hand side. If you get hit from the vehicle you are
overtaking (on the left) there will not be any questions asked by the cops. So
please do use caution if you are forced to overtake from the left leaving
sufficient space for the vehicle to move to the left.
6. The centre-line hoggers
Many slow
moving heavy vehicles keep hogging the centre of the road especially on the highways.
Such people are totally blind to the sign boards on highways which say, Slow Moving Vehicles Keep to Left.
Unfortunately,
many do not follow the rules, and cause major safety hazards and inconvenience
to others.
7. The one-way travellers
The rule to
safe driving in India is to always expect the unexpected! And this rule applies
to never assuming that vehicles will travel only one way in a one-way road. You
can always expect an idiot coming in the other direction. Such people are
utterly selfish and just want to save fuel and time, not bothering if get
killed in the process, or if they cause injury to life and limb in the process.
Save your
skin by watching out for such idiots
8. The walking dead
Well, its
jaywalkers I am referring too, but I call them the walking dead as they have no
regard for life! This unique kind of specimen actually thinks that the road is
an extension of their own homes. You will see many such specimens crossing the
roads without looking at either direction.
Always keep
an alert eye in anticipation of these fools, especially in highways. The only
precaution a driver can take is not to drive too closely towards the median and
give some space, so that in case you spot someone you will have time to react.
9. The side roads zippers
In many main
roads, (both highways and city roads), you will see two wheeler drivers coming
from side roads and entering the main roads at break neck speeds. Such guys I
feel are on a suicidal mission, similar to suicide bombers, who are willing to
die and put other people’s lives in jeopardy as well.
Do not stay close to the median in the
highways and always leave some gap, so that you can respond in case of emergency.
10 The bulldozer buses
We can see
these monsters in many Indian towns especially among the private buses. In
order to catch passengers in the next stop they will try to bulldoze you of the
road using several intimidating tactics, in addition to making your ears deaf
by using 2 or 3 Air horns.
(RTO’s are
supposed to check for these loud
Air horns, but not bothered as long as their pockets are filled)
11. The careless car door openers
These are
another unique kind of specimen, who is always in the world of their own, preoccupied
with the many ills of life. Such people carelessly open the doors of the car on
the driver’s side without checking the mirrors, leading to accidents with
people or vehicles passing close by.
Avoid such
mishaps by checking your mirrors before opening the door.
12. The autocratic auto-Walla’s
Belonging to
a tribe of their own, autowalla’s drive at breakneck speed, try to overtake on
all directions, take u-turns where it is not possible, and drive in the wrong
direction in one-way traffic. Furthermore, when they don’t have a customer they
deliberately choose to drive dead slow even during peak traffic hours causing
blockage of the entire road.
13. The heavy weights of the road
Several
heavy vehicle use their muscle and might and keep pushing you of the road, especially
on 2 lane highways. They really don’t care if somebody gets killed on the way
and very often they get away with the crime, because they keep greasing the
local cops on a regular basis. Common culprits include sand laden tipper Lorries,
private buses, Govt. buses and some big SUV’s.
Stay clear
from these monsters
14. The zig-zaggers
These vehicles,
mostly cars, belong to the people who have the means to buy powerful vehicles. And
since even the present midsized hatchbacks come equipped with powerful engines,
such driver’s drive their powerful vehicles in a zigzag manner, especially on
highways.
If
questioned, the common excuse they state is that a slow moving truck is holding
back the traffic. While it might be true, it is always better to overtake
cautiously and at modest speeds. However, these zig-zaggers are thrilled by overtaking
these slow moving trucks and buses continuing in their zig zag manner at speeds
above 120 km/hr. Very often this particular type of driving leads to tragic
accidents, but still many people continue to drive in this manner, causing loss
to life and limb.
15. The non-carers
By this, I
refer to the cars, which pull out from the kerb without giving any kind of
indication and those who take U-turns were it is not allowed. They don’t care
whether their action is blocking the whole road and creating a traffic chaos.
Such people believe the road is meant only for them and that others don’t exist.
To avoid such
people always keep a fair distance to parked vehicles, so that you will have
time to react.
16.The mirror-breakers
These are
the 2 wheelers who remove their mirrors and drive- either as a style statement or
because they are scared of looking into the rear view mirror. They often come so
close to you so that you have to take evasive to avoid hitting them. On other
occasions, they try to squeeze their 2-wheeler between your car and the median,
eventually breaking your mirror and zipping off without a backward glance. Even
if you manage to catch up and confront them they will simply state that since
it is just a mirror, you are not entitled to make a fuss.
Normally only
car drivers face this problem. Both Mini SUV’s and SUV’s escape the mirror-breakers
because their ride height is taller. With side mirrors costing anywhere between
Rs 1000/- to Rs 20,000/- (depending on the brand of your car), mirror breakers
are a huge economic drain.
17. The hilly-billies
These
include first time hill drivers and those who have absolutely no idea of hill
driving. There are several hill driving rules. The first rule is to give right
of way to upcoming vehicles. The second rules are to honk at every corner
because most of the corners in hills are blind corners. The third rule to give
a small honk to a vehicle that has stopped allowing you to pass- the small honk
a way of saying “Thank you”.
Many upstart
drivers keep hurtling down the hill at break neck speed and rely only on their brakes.
However, it is actually dangerous to rely only on brakes, while coming down a
hill, because your brakes will overheat causing it to fail eventually. Normally
you are supposed to get down the hill only on the 2nd gear relying
on engine braking. Also never coast down the hill by shutting your engine off
which is very dangerous.
18. The headlight scorchers
Many drivers
do not dip their headlights while driving, causing the bright lights to scorch
the oncoming drivers eyes. They feel it is a waste of time trying to dip. It is
assumed the fellow who dips the headlight is a fool and the fellow who doesn’t
dip the lights is kind of macho. Actually dipping helps the driver to see the
dark sides in an unlit road- for example if any pedestrian is crossing, etc. In
city driving most of the roads are well illuminated and their won’t be any
necessity for bright lights. Drivers can drive in dip mode itself without
putting the headlight in main beam.
19. The indicator-indifferent
These drivers make turns without using their
indicators. Either these people switch of their brains or else they are too
lazy to indicate to indicate to others who are driving on the road. They also
don’t care if their driving causes accidents.
To avoid
this people do not drive too close to parked vehicles and be cautious if the
fellow in front of you slows down drastically without reason, as he will probably
be taking a turn soon.
20. The non-stop brakers
Some people
keep braking like mad, without any reason. They believe stomping on their
brakes is a part of driving. In fact, they will be testing your braking skills
as well!
In case you
come across such idiots always drive with some extra space in front of you and
try to overtake that person as early as possible.
21. The slowpoke
Another
irritating specimen, this person drives the vehicle in the middle of the road
at 20 km/hr blocking everyone else. Furthermore, this person will neither move
to the edge of the road nor will move over, how much ever you honk. Even if someone
shouts at him he will not show any emotion.
Unfortunately,
there is no precaution for this person and you will just have to grin and bear
it.
What are the
types of lunatics that you have come across on Indian roads? Do share your
views in the comments box below.
